Is Your Remote Job Making You Lonely?

Is Your Remote Job Making You Lonely?

Loneliness is the distress and discomfort we feel when we perceive a gap between the social connection we want and the quantity and quality of the relationships we currently have. That gap might feel slight or huge based on how we’re wired and our unique set of needs. Sadly, prevalent feelings of loneliness were on the rise even before the Covid-19 pandemic, with 61% of respondents to a 2020 study conducted by Cigna reporting feeling lonely.

If you’re grappling with loneliness, here are steps you can take to start to address those connection gaps.

Start the process by considering what this feeling of loneliness means to you. Identifying your needs is essential because how you interpret and experience loneliness will be strikingly different from how someone else does.

Consider what you need in order to feel like you’re connected and thriving at work. What type of interactions and levels of engagement do you enjoy? Is it small talk, one-on-one meetings, or group conversations? Are you looking for a lunch buddy? Do you wish you had a bigger team to collaborate with?

When I identified my needs, I quickly discovered that I didn’t miss my old work environment, but I desperately needed to find avenues to stay connected with others and meet new people on a weekly basis. Get specific when you consider what you need. For example, if you decide you need a lunch buddy, do you want to meet twice a week or once a month?

When you reflect on your detailed answers it will be easier to determine if a solution could be a quick fix or something that requires a bigger change.

Now that you’ve identified what’s missing, it’s time to review the options that could move you closer to your desired level of social connection and interaction. Start this phase from a place of curiosity and keep asking yourself questions, such as:

As you respond to these questions, challenge yourself to try to identify more than just one answer. Approach it like a brainstorm activity and build out a shortlist of possible options. Ideas to consider could be as wide-ranging as finding a nearby coworking space, exploring volunteer opportunities, researching existing networks at your company (such as employee resource groups), taking a class, or joining and engaging in professional associations.

When I reviewed my options, I quickly realized my flexible schedule provided a unique opportunity. After shortlisting potential ideas, I decided to start a virtual mastermind group for underrepresented professional women. Bringing together a small group with a common goal gave me the opportunity to forge new connections and help others who were also feeling isolated.

Review your list of needs and circle the one that feels like the most important. Then take a closer look at the options you brainstormed in step two. Consider the ones that could best address your most important need, then start with one first step to explore it further.